Heartbeat

Today was the day..
That we heard little dot's heartbeat for the very first time!

It was so loud and clear..
And first time listening to it.. I can't help crying there and then (while being in a very expose position :P)
It was miracle.

Although Dr Dev said we were not out of danger..
There's still high risk in miscarriage..

Even mase Doctor buat Transvagina Ultrasound tadik,
boleh nampak ade bleeding kat dlm uterus..
Walaupon bleeding tak kluar (pada spender)..
Doctor said if the bleeding continues/ more, then only it will be discharge out. For the time being it will be absorbed back by my body.. Scary!

So I am still on Proluton..
I've had 6 jabs as at date..
Doctor dah schedulekan another 6 jabs before he review my condition again in another 2 weeks..
Hopefully everything will be allright..

But don't worry, Mummy will do her part.. Little dot, you do your part okay.. And keep growing healthy :)

To tell you the truth..
Since the day i found out I am with Little dot.. I was worried sick..
Imagine being worried and still need to sit for 2 exams! Arrgghhh...
Torture.. Hahaha..

Everytime i tried to study..
I'll end up sleeping
T__________T

At times.. I'm in denial state..
Betul ke pregnant nih?
So I kept peeing on those sticks!
(Saiko much!!) Hahahahha..
And every time the double line appeared.. I'll be reassured at least for a while..

Honestly, I am too scared to put too much hope..
What if it's another blighted ovum..
Sometimes I envy other people's pregnancy..
They made it seem so easy.. from the day their stick turned double line..
Why mine has to be so difficult..
But then cepat2 sedar.. Itu rezeki masing2..
Jangan di pertikaikan dan mintak rezeki dan dugaan orang lain..
Sebab kita dah ade rezeki dan dugaan kita sendiri..

But after hearing that magical heartbeats today..
We still have hope.. :)

It's gonna be another 6 weeks before we can be consider out of danger zone.
Keeping our fingers cross..
In Sya Allah.

Little dot and neighbour

Mase check up kat TTMC tuh..
I told the doctor about the pain I was having..
And my worry about an ectopic pregnancy..
He check out the pain site area.. and his opinion was that area yg aku sakit tuh bukan ectopic biasa nye..
Alhamdullillah.. There's still hope...

That same evening of 12/12/12..
After work we went to see Dr. Dev..
And he did a Transvaginal Scan (TVS) for me..
Seriau jugak sebab dah setahun lebih tak seek treatment.. huhuhu..

Anyway..
The moment he adjusted the camera..
His first reaction was..

"Yup, there's the pregnancy sac.. at the right place"

Meaning bukan ectopic..
Alhamdulillah.. Selesai satu masalah..
There's still hope..

You are still too little for mummy to see you little dot..
Even on the TVS, you are slightly bigger than a sesame seed jek.. about 4.1 mm..
And according to doctor, you're only about 4 weeks.. Which is inline with my last period..

You're made in Paris little dot :)

However, there's a you've got a "neighbour" somewhere near there..
A fibroid is growing nearby.. Si fibroid tu lagik besar dari rumah little dot..
It was about 2 cm! And the doctor highly likely it will grow bigger with the pregnancy..
That was what is causing me the slight stabbing pain that i thot ectopic..

So in order to protect my little dot..
Cause there's a possibility of the fibroid growing into the direction of my little dot..
which may cause fighting  for blood and whatnot..

The doctor suggested that I take Proluten most probably until the 1st trimester past..
We're trying our best to protect you little dot..

I had my first proluten injection that evening..
I have to say. Ouch!
And i have to take that injection for every 3 days..
Lucky mummy got a big bum eh little dot.. hehehe..

On top of that.. I am also worried about another case of blighted ovum (like my last pregnancy turned out)..
But that is Allah's will.. we'll pray for the best okay baby.

We'll see Dr. Dev in another 2 weeks time..
Hopefully by then you have grown more and more..

I am already so excited to see you next time little dot..
Till then.. Be safe.. be healthy and keep growing..
Amin..

Another hope

On 12/12/12..

The doctor at Twin Tower Medical Centre confirmed that..
I am..
indeed..

Pregnant!

:)

Actually it's been 1 week since i peed on my first stick..

Memang itupon hobi bulanan aku..
Pregnant tak pregnant lain kira.. period lambat sehari jek iols dah kencing atas stick..
Huhuhu..

And since my last pregnancy almost 1 year 4 months ago..
All the sticks turn up "negative"

Actually, last month i really thought i was pregnant..
I did my test while i was on a business trip to Bintulu..
Period lambat 3 hari.. Tetek sakit..
Sah.. ni confirm pregnant nih..
Tapi bila test "negative" jugak..
Sob sob..
"Tak pe lah.. belum rezeki" .. ku pujuk hati sendirik..

So this month..
Ntah kenapa nak test pon tatau..
Period aku nih mmg weng sket.. Kejap cycle 30 hari.. Kejap cycle 37 hari..

Since ade balance pregnancy kit yg murah2 tu..
5 Dec 2012 tu..Bgn jek dari tido terus carik pregnancy kit.. Hari ni i started my study leave seminggu..
Kalau ikut cycle last month which is 37 days.. period aku lagik 7 hari baru due.. Huhu..
Tapi gatal gak nak kencing kan..

Bila kencing..
Tengok stick tu tak tukar kaler pon..
Ah.. gagal lagik bulan nih..

Aku letak ke tepi sambil aku sambung urusan.. Hehehe..
Lepas siap semua aku pon nak pegi buang la kan..
Sekali nampak macam double line..
Tapi samar2 jek..

Mase tu dah tak tentu arah..
Sengih macam org bengong..
Nak cuba kencing kat pregnancy kit spare jenama ClearBlue.. Tapi air kencing dah habis semua tadik.. Hahahha..

So aku pon minum air banyak2..
Next round kencing pada ClearBlue plak..
Baru la nampak line tu clear sikit..
Alhamdulillah..

But since my bad experience last year..
Aku nak happy sangat menaruh harapan pon tak berani..
Plak tu line tu samar2 jek.. Huhuhu..
Memula ingat takmo bagitau Leman pon..
Nak tunggu la lama sket kan..

Tapi I notice this nagging mild pain kat lower right of my abdomen..
And all my googling point out to a possibility of an ectopic pregnancy..
And with ectopic lagik kau delay lagik bahaya kan.. Huhuhu..
So tengahari tuh tak tahan bagitau la jugak kan Leman..
But i mention the possibility of ectopic too sebab tanak la dia berharap sgt plak kan..

From then on..
The pain is still there on and off..
Aku pon kejap happy kejap sedih..

So masuk jek kerja rabu tu terus pegi TTMC..
And also I've book an appointment with Dr. Dev untuk petang yg sama..

Only Allah know how sick i was with worry..
And there's nothing either of us can do except to continue praying for the best..